How a year of travel improved my marriage, myself - A guide to travel therapy

Check out this guy Darling Husband and I met on one of our first trips to the Olympic Peninsula and the Olympic Game Farm in July 2015.

My 29th year was one of turmoil.

Darling Husband and I had moved to a new city. I experienced culture shock in my new hometown, significant homesickness and Darling Husband was unemployed for about six months. Plus, my new job was rewarding and wonderful, but exhausting, emotionally and physically.

In short, we were a mess. I'm still a hot mess some days, but less so because I invested in therapy and it paid off - travel therapy.

Before age 29, I hadn't traveled much. I had been to California, Oregon, Disney World and to the Bahamas on our honeymoon. That was it.

At the gorgeous lavender farm in Sequim, Washington in July 2015.

Darling Husband and I travel really well together. We can get stressed preparing for travel, but the moment we leave, we find our groove and enjoy the adventure and each other.

My desire to see more of the Pacific Northwest and the U.S., and Darling Husband's ability to go along with my crazy ideas (most of the time), led to a life-changing year of healing, discovery and finding something in us and in myself that has made us better and stronger. Here's how we did it.

How to make travel affordable
Our first trip was right after Darling Husband got his new job. We took a trip two hours south to Portland, Oregon, with one goal - only eat out of food trucks for one weekend. It was delicious, fun, quirky, cheap and easy. I took two larger trips this last year, but really explored our corner of the U.S. in the Pacific Northwest. We were not jet setting off to New Orleans every weekend.

The first Ralphie vacation! We took him on a day trip wine and beer tasting in Woodinville, Washington, in July 2015.

We did a day trip to the famous tulip fields in Skagit Valley, or we stayed with family for a long weekend in Walla Walla. We used Groupon to get a seriously discounted hotel room in New Orleans. I always asked about a AAA discount. We learned to set budgets for ourselves on the trips so we would have some guidelines and wouldn't later argue over how much to spend. And, we used our favorite travel agent who scored us free upgrades and saved us loads of time. Time is a cost, too!

I believe, whatever your budget, travel can be available, it just may not be what you think it will be. Start with a budget and go from there.

How to know where to go
I scoured travel magazines. I have the Texture app that gives me loads of magazines for about $10 a month. I read travel publications like Travel + Leisure, Sunset and even Southern Living to earmark where I want to go in the future. I love reading local magazines like South Sound Magazine and 425 Magazine for day trip ideas. Also, Pinterest caught on that I was traveling and sends me ideas via pins for Northwest, U.S. and international travel.

Bunny and I at our favorite cruise location, Labadee, Haiti, in February 2016.

As for where to stay and where to eat, we rely on TripAdvisor and Yelp reviews, in addition to what I've read in the travel mags. I like to look up menus before we try new restaurants to make sure there will be something Darling Husband will enjoy eating. Plus, it gives me an idea of price point and if we'll need to make a reservation.

How often to travel
Until this summer, I was traveling in some capacity every weekend. No joke - I was never home. If Darling Husband was pulling a shift at the fire station, I called up a friend to go with me, or I went alone.

How I kept my job with so much travel
Some travel, like my trip to Indianapolis, Indiana, was actually for work. I had about 80 hours of PTO in my 29th year and my goal was to use all of it. I hope to never leave PTO hours on the table as I did prior to this year. I thought travel was out of reach for us financially. With PTO and regional travel, I was wrong.

Ralphie and I on the beach at Kalaloch, Washington, in November 2015.

As a type A individual who struggles with perfectionism and saying no, (do you know someone like me?) the hardest day was asking my boss for 10 days to go on a Western Caribbean cruise and to Miami Beach in February 2016. I'll never forget, she said "that's a long time." I replied, "it is..." I had the PTO, I had planned perfectly to go during a slower time of the year at work. She let me go and I left my cell phone in Portland and fully disconnected for 10 days. BLISS.

Outcomes
After one year of traveling nearly every weekend, here is how my life has changed.

Better communication with my husband. He and I have been in crazy travel situations and many long car rides together this year. I have learned more about him, what makes him happy, the little cues that show he doesn't want to talk but is upset, and we are able to communicate with each other more effectively. And, the memories we have made this year mean more to me than any gift, home or material item I have ever owned.

Enjoying my sorbellini at Salon in the French Quarter in New Orleans in April 2016.

Reconnecting with old friends. Bunny and I cheered together in college. She LOVES to travel and is an awesome travel partner. Our friendship this year is just as strong as it was in college, after not seeing each other much for about seven years. I need her positive energy in my life. And, while Darling Husband is my great caretaker, Bunny pushes me to my edge and challenges me to step outside my comfort zone and live a little more. This has changed me for the better.

Travel helped me get through challenging weeks at work. At the end of the day, I would come home and cry into my wine glass over what happened that day. Knowing that I was going to Kalaloch with Darling Husband and Ralphie that weekend gave me something to look forward to.

I have a countdown app on my phone that would tell me how many days until the cruise, until New Orleans, etc. I see now I was using travel as escapism. I needed a way to escape my new city and my job. I needed to focus on something other than my situation and it worked for me. I was able to have a hard day, remember that 67 days from now I'll be somewhere fun, and picked myself back up.

The view from Amavi in Walla Walla, Washington in January 2016.

Self discovery. I was sitting in a gorgeous dress at fancy dinner on the cruise ship with Bunny one night and I couldn't stop stressing about how to handle work when I returned home. She looked me straight in the eyes and said "You know you are leaving your job. You just don't know when. When you know what that next move will be, you'll stop stressing."

One month later, I knew where I needed to go. Two months later, I took that new job. Five months later, I feel like my true self again. The time away from the daily grind gave me the space to explore my reality and use feedback from those I trust to change for the better.

This blog and insight into my career. Two months after I started traveling, I started this blog. I'm not writing this to become famous or make money. I needed to write more for my soul. Part of my communications work at the museum was tourism related, and I learned this year through traveling and the blog that I want to dive deeper. It led me to my new job at a statewide hospitality association and I love working in beautiful restaurants and hotels. Many days, it doesn't feel like work.

Sledding at Town Square in Leavenworth, Washington, in December 2015 - our third wedding anniversary.

To be quite honest, as soon as I left my old job and got a bit more settled in our new home, my need to escape has lessened. In turn, I feel my need to travel go from every weekend to one or two weekends a month.

I find myself in a new season. Darling Husband is at my family's lake house each weekend building us a teardrop trailer and that allows me to join him or stay home and take care of our home (that was a bit neglected when we were gone every weekend). This also gives me space to do a weekend girls trip with Bunny or the Junior League gals.

Travel is not going to end for me, but I'm not obsessively planning escapes every weekend. I have a few smaller trips and a few larger trips coming up in my 30th year that I'm very excited about. We have BIG travel plans for our five-year wedding anniversary in January 2018 that we are looking forward to.

I'll be sharing the details with you here after each trip. Thanks for joining me on this crazy ride in my 29th year.

Suncadia Lodge, November 2015

What to Pack for New Orleans - Five-Day Trip

I wore light, cotton dresses to keep cool in the humid heat.

To be quite honest, there are not a log of quality packing lists and blogs addressing what you should wear in New Orleans!

Darling Husband and I spent five days in New Orleans in April 2016. It was humid and temperatures ranged from 75 to 85 degrees each day.

Here is what I packed in my carry on - and what we had to purchase when we were there.

• 3 dresses
• 1 pair shorts
• 1 pair jeans
• 2 t-shirts
• 1 sleeveless blouse
• 1 shirt
• PJs
• 1 pair Keds sneakers
• 1 pair flip flops
• 1 pair espadrille wedges
• 1 crossbody purse
• 1 rain coat
• 1 trench coat
• 1 denim jacket
• 1 dress
• 2 swimsuits
• 1 swimsuit cover up
• Umbrella
• Sunglasses

I wore this white skirt to Cafe Du Monde - if I got powdered sugar on my lap I didn't know it!

There were thunderstorms and lots of rain the days before our trip, so I was prepared for showers. Thankfully, it didn't rain on us one drop.

Here is what I didn't wear:

• 1 pair shorts - Felt too casual. Dresses kept me cool!
• 1 sleeveless blouse - because I didn't wear the shorts
• 1 t-shirt
• 1 pair espadrille wedges - they were too tall for the cobblestone streets and the miles of walking
• 1 rain coat - yay!

What I had to buy:

• 1 additional pair of walking shoes - Tory Burch espadrilles from Saks Fifth Avenue, we walked SO MUCH my Keds gave me blisters 
• 1 fedora-style hat - Darling Husband burned his head Day 1, also from Saks
• 1 t-shirt - Darling Husband didn't anticipate changing for dinner, sigh

I wore one pair of walking shoes in the morning and switched to another in the afternoon. Blisters happened day 1.

Darling Husband wore mostly cargo shorts and light t-shirts during the day and cotton polo shirts at night. He took one really nice outfit for a dinner out. Some restaurants have dress codes for men of sport jackets, so check before you go.

Verdict: Skirts and dresses that circulate air are the way to go! Plus, bring two pairs of good walking shoes to go the distance in this amazing city.

When in New Orleans ... wear a fedora! This hat saved his head and fact the rest of the trip.

Best day to visit New Orleans + Midtown's City Park

A swan floats along in New Orleans' City Park in Midtown.

Hands down, the best day to visit New Orleans is Sunday. All of the bachelor parties are packing up to go home. The streetcars are less busy and the fear of getting vomited on at Bourbon Street significantly decreases.

Darling Husband and I were in New Orleans Thursday-Monday and Sunday was an unexpected treat. We didn't have any tours or activities committed for Sunday, so we got to sleep in and wander a bit. Here is how we spent our glorious Sunday.

We enjoyed live jazz music by a pianist and a huge champagne brunch at Le Pavillon.

Champagne Brunch
I read THE BOOK to find the best jazz brunch in town and our very own hotel, Le Pavillon, made the top 10! We headed into the dining room about 10 a.m. and enjoyed the over-the-top chandeliers, shiny chafing dishes filled with every breakfast food you ever wanted and the wait staff refilling our bottomless mimosas. Bring your appetite! It's expensive, but a one-of-a-kind experience.

Ride the Streetcar
I had a travel guide that noted different walking tours, so we hopped the Canal Street Streetcar and rode it all the way to City Park. I had no idea what we were in store for. We had only been right downtown in the French Quarter, Garden District and Business District. Midtown was fun. Midtown is where people REALLY live in New Orleans. We wandered around City Park for hours soaking up each landmark.

This was Darling Husband's favorite sculpture in the museum's garden.

Sculpture Garden
You want to know where the cleanest bathrooms are in New Orleans? The Sculpture Garden in City Park. The garden is free and the sculptures are intriguing. Don't miss the gondolas on the pond pushing couples and families through the park. The bathrooms are by the entrance/exit. We loved the Spanish moss on the trees and the swans on the river.

Southern Bridal Shower
We wandered across a little bridge, by Storyland and back around by this mini Greek-style structure called the Peristyle. About 30 well-dressed ladies were enjoying a catered bridal shower and it was the most beautiful event I have seen. I wanted to be those gals! But, I had my Darling Husband, so we found a bench swing and sat for a bit and enjoyed the sunshine.

Gorgeous flowers outside of the Peristyle in City Park.

Pool Time
Sunday was the first day at our hotel pool that we had no trouble snagging deck chairs. And it was the first day without bachelor parties hanging around. Service up at the pool was terrible, but a gin and tonic with lime in the sunshine is the best vacation.

Salon
The only downside about Sunday in New Orleans is that some of the restaurants are closed. We knew we wanted to go to Salon in the French Quarter, right above Sucre (where we had already eaten two times). The restaurant was very quiet and we enjoyed a table on the second-story balcony watching the quiet foot traffic down below. I enjoyed a sorbellini, prosecco with a scoop of sorbet, and they brought us a free amuse-bouche of beet hummus. The hummus was the most vibrant magenta. Darling Husband had some kind of steak and I had vegetarian lasagna that we agree was the most delicious, unexpected take on lasagna we'd ever eaten.

Beautiful beet hummus at Salon.

Cafe Du Monde
One last trip to Cafe Du Monde. We sat down and the server in our section was moving quite slowly and had a lot of business. I looked around and I saw the waiter we had previously and I moved us to his area. He recognized us (Darling Husband is 6 feet, 7 inches) and the service again was impeccable. I generously tipped him again and he gave me a hug when we departed. Remember that the wait staff members are contractors and they work hard! For one last look, we rounded the building to the window on the river side and watched the kitchen staff cut dough and literally throw it over his shoulder into the vat of oil to fry.

Verdict: Sunday was my favorite day to tour New Orleans. The crowds had significantly thinned and the streetcar experience was more comfortable. If you have time, take the streetcar to City Park in Midtown to see a bit more of the city.

The Sculpture Garden in City Park.

Gorgeous live oaks in City Park.

My sorbellini and fried pretzel sticks with dipping sauce on the balcony at Salon in the French Quarter.

The best lasagna we have ever eaten and Darling Husband's steak at Salon.

Cheers to Sundays in New Orleans!

A laid-back tour of New Orleans' Garden District + Steamboat Natchez Jazz Dinner Cruise Review

We enjoyed a sunset cruise on the Steamboat Natchez.

St. Charles Streetcar
The best part about not being crazy partiers in New Orleans is the ability to wake up early and catch the St. Charles Streetcar to the Garden District before it gets too packed.

We caught the steetcar just two blocks from our hotel, Le Pavillon, in the Business District. Make sure you have exact change. $6 gets you two all-day passes to ride any streetcar in the city and is a great way to travel if you're exhausted from walking for eight hours the day before.

Waiting for the streetcar to pick us up!

Garden District
The weather was humid and warm this beautiful April day and Darling Husband and I enjoyed the old wooden seats and open windows on the streetcar. We rode through the Garden District past gorgeous homes ogling each one of them. History says the Americans built homes in the Garden District to show the Spanish (who occupied New Orleans from 1763-1803) how wealthy they were. They did a good job and the properties are definitely still cared for and stunning.

Check out this beautiful home in the Garden District. Don't you wish you lived here?

If you like HGTV or driving around neighborhoods looking at houses, don't miss this.

We exited the streetcar at Audubon Park across from Tulane University and Loyola Marymount University. Wow, the schools are grand. The park had a huge path for walkers, runners, cyclists and tourists. We walked for about 30 minutes under the shade of the most gorgeous, huge, live oaks. The park has decent restrooms and a water fountain/water bottle filling station.

Audubon Park has a great shaded walking trail and beautiful trees and fountain.

The Irish House
With tired walking feet, we hopped back on the streetcar, rode it to the end of the line and read THE BOOK to locate a great spot for lunch. Commander's Palace was not right on the line, so we didn't stop there. But, The Irish House was. The chef is well-awarded and the location was right. Irish food in New Orleans? We did not regret it.

Don't overlook the delicious food at The Irish House.

We dined outside in front of the restaurant and ordered a green leprechaun slushy cocktail, beer, bangers and mash and fish and chips. We devoured every bite. Darling Husband said my chips (fries) were among the best he's ever had. Service was great. Don't overlook this place!

WARNING: Catching the streetcar at 2 p.m. on a Saturday to get back to the Business District was tough. Cars didn't stop and pick us up because they were too crowded. When we did get on, we were standing, holding onto an overhead bar, very close to other folks. The earlier you go, the better.

A green leprechaun drink and a huge order of fish and chips? Don't mind if I do!

Steamboat Natchez
Prior to our trip, I worked with our travel agent to book a dinner jazz cruise on the Steamboat Natchez. My husband LOVES boats and water, so anytime we have an opportunity to say bon voyage, we do. They do a lunch cruise too, but I wanted to see the sunset on the Mississippi River.

Fried fish, pasta and pork dinner on the Steamboat Natchez.

We arrived at the ship's dock and took a cheesy, touristy photo before climbing on board. We were greeted warmly and told to pick any table inside for our dinner. We had cocktails, recommended by our server, and dug into the buffet. Darling Husband said the food was better than he expected. I was lukewarm on it. We had salad, pasta, fried fish, pork and beef. The fish and the pasta were my preferences out of all of it.

A sneak peak of a military base ... and the rowdy teens on our dinner cruise.

The crew also warned us that about 200 teenagers would be on board. New Orleans in general is not a very kid-friendly city in the French Quarter and Business District. If I had known I would be listening to teens trying to out-cool each other all night, I would have selected another cruise. The kids needed more adult supervision for their quantity.

I enjoyed touring the engine room, listening to the jazz music, hearing history as we headed down the Mississippi and the sunset. This cruise gave us a special view of New Orleans we wouldn't have had otherwise.

The most beautiful sunset on the Mississippi River.

Sucre
After the dinner cruise, we headed to Sucre for dessert. We stopped here on our foodie tour and I think went every day of our trip. I had two macaroons and Darling Husband had some gelato.

Verdict: Ride the streetcar when you get tired of walking. It was a fun break. DO NOT ride the streetcar after noon unless you're really comfortable with strangers in your personal space. Enjoy the laid-back beauty of the Garden District and book a sunset dinner cruise on the Natchez - but call and confirm the student count and be flexible to switching dates based on teenager field trips.

More beautiful Garden District homes.

The St. Charles Streetcar experience.

Look at the Spanish moss on these gorgeous live oaks.

Darling Husband loved this oak.

We saw amazing skywriting the weekend we were there.

Another gorgeous spot in Audubon Park.

I caught this kitty napping in a shop window in the French Quarter on our way to our Steamboat Natchez dinner cruise.

Best Foodie Tour in New Orleans + Cafe Du Monde Secrets from a Local

Our fabulous tour guide Elizabeth in front of Saint Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square during our foodie walking tour in the French Quarter.

On our first full day in New Orleans, our Destination Kitchen walking foodie tour of the French Quarter was the best part. Here is where we stopped along our tour:

Praline Cookies
We ate the most delicious praline cookies made of shortbread called Odi's Praline in a Cookie, and sipped chicory coffee.

Dane and his gumbo and muffaletta in the French Market.

French Market
We walked by Cafe Du Monde, but it was too busy for the whole group to stop and enjoy, so we headed to the French Market for gumbo and a muffaletta sandwich and some shopping. The gumbo was spicy and the sandwich was yummy, served cold, not hot.

As Elizabeth lovingly called this statue of Joan Arc - Joanie on a pony. She hangs out right by the French Market.

New Orleans History
Our tour guide Elizabeth stopped us periodically along the sidewalk to share tips and history of New Orleans. She described the Vieux Carre's historic preservation guidelines that has maintained the charm of the Mediterranean- and French-style buildings.

Pimms Cup
We enjoyed a beef po boy sandwich and refreshing cucumber mint cocktail called a Pimms Cup at the second-oldest bar in New Orleans, Tujague's.

A bartender preparing the Pimm's Cup cocktails at Tujague's, the second-oldest bar in New Orleans.

Praline
The pralines kept flowing when we got to taste another one at the Southern Candymakers. This one was so buttery and rich. Elizabeth said she likes to buy one or two and wrap them up for her purse for a snack later.

Macaroons
Our final stop was Sucre for gelato, macaroons and a bit of chocolate. This cute little sweet shop had a fun, French atmosphere.

A bite of chocolate and a strawberry macaroon for each of us at Sucre by Jackson Square.

Major kudos to Elizabeth and Destination Kitchen for cooking up such a delicious tour for us. We walked for about three hours and ate so many delicious things. This tour is not for folks who can't be on their feet for a couple of hours and it is for 21+.

Biggest disappointment of the day
I had read about this Backstage Pass to meet penguins at the Audubon Nature Institute in New Orleans. Dane and I walked over to go meet them and we learned you have to make a reservation AND it's $150 per person (including tax). We said no thanks and walked away.

After walking the riverfront and NOT seeing the penguins, we enjoyed pool time at the hotel and made a dinner decision. What THE BOOK called the best pizza in the city was at Domenica couple of blocks from the hotel, so away we went.

We did actually get to witness a second line right before our tour started! Look at this guy's brilliant costume!

Domenica
OK, the hostess was the rudest we encountered during our trip, but our waitress was lovely and the atmosphere and meal were memorable. We scored a window table where we watched the street traffic during our dinner. Darling Husband had a beer and the Smoked Pork pizza. I had a cocktail and the Calabrese pizza. It wasn't too spicy. The crust was rustic and delicious.

Domenica's had the most delicious, rustic pizza right in the Business District.

Bourbon Street
After dinner, Darling Husband wanted to walk Bourbon Street and I obliged him. Honestly, I'm OK never walking Bourbon Street again. It was a Friday at 8 p.m. and had loud music, pushy club promoters trying to coax women inside their businesses, drunk, stumbling people and at one point I legitimately thought I was going to get puked on.

Order a little black decaf coffee with your order of beignets at Cafe Du Monde. I especially liked them dunked right in the coffee.

Cafe Du Monde
Tour guide Elizabeth said the biggest mistake made at Cafe Du Monde is people wait in line for a table. Don't. Just walk in, locate an open table and sit down. The wait staff members are actually contractors. They come by, clean off the table and take your order. They buy the beignets from Cafe Du Monde and then charge you. The prices are listed so there's no funny business and honestly you would never know. Darling Husband and I enjoyed three beignets paired with a cup of decaf black coffee for me and a decaf cafe au lait for him.

I didn't get any powdered sugar on my black shirt. I may have on my skirt, but it was white so I couldn't tell!

Our waiter was fabulous in terms of service and I tipped him generously. He brought us two Cafe Du Monde paper hats that now adorn a shelf in our living room. Oh and don't wear black pants or skirt. I saw a couple ladies walk out with laps covered in powdered sugar. I wore a white lace skirt (similar).

Verdict: Do not miss: Foodie tour, Domenica pizza and Cafe Du Monde. Skip: $150 penguins and Bourbon Street.

I loved how these shutters were all crooked. The imperfect nature was refreshing.

Don't you wish you lived here?

Hotel selfie!

Check out the jasmine blooming on this garden gate in the French Quarter.

Darling Husband indulged in the little cup of gelato on our tour at Sucre.

We stopped in Saint Louis Cathedral. WOW. No detail was spared.