How a year of travel improved my marriage, myself - A guide to travel therapy

Check out this guy Darling Husband and I met on one of our first trips to the Olympic Peninsula and the Olympic Game Farm in July 2015.

My 29th year was one of turmoil.

Darling Husband and I had moved to a new city. I experienced culture shock in my new hometown, significant homesickness and Darling Husband was unemployed for about six months. Plus, my new job was rewarding and wonderful, but exhausting, emotionally and physically.

In short, we were a mess. I'm still a hot mess some days, but less so because I invested in therapy and it paid off - travel therapy.

Before age 29, I hadn't traveled much. I had been to California, Oregon, Disney World and to the Bahamas on our honeymoon. That was it.

At the gorgeous lavender farm in Sequim, Washington in July 2015.

Darling Husband and I travel really well together. We can get stressed preparing for travel, but the moment we leave, we find our groove and enjoy the adventure and each other.

My desire to see more of the Pacific Northwest and the U.S., and Darling Husband's ability to go along with my crazy ideas (most of the time), led to a life-changing year of healing, discovery and finding something in us and in myself that has made us better and stronger. Here's how we did it.

How to make travel affordable
Our first trip was right after Darling Husband got his new job. We took a trip two hours south to Portland, Oregon, with one goal - only eat out of food trucks for one weekend. It was delicious, fun, quirky, cheap and easy. I took two larger trips this last year, but really explored our corner of the U.S. in the Pacific Northwest. We were not jet setting off to New Orleans every weekend.

The first Ralphie vacation! We took him on a day trip wine and beer tasting in Woodinville, Washington, in July 2015.

We did a day trip to the famous tulip fields in Skagit Valley, or we stayed with family for a long weekend in Walla Walla. We used Groupon to get a seriously discounted hotel room in New Orleans. I always asked about a AAA discount. We learned to set budgets for ourselves on the trips so we would have some guidelines and wouldn't later argue over how much to spend. And, we used our favorite travel agent who scored us free upgrades and saved us loads of time. Time is a cost, too!

I believe, whatever your budget, travel can be available, it just may not be what you think it will be. Start with a budget and go from there.

How to know where to go
I scoured travel magazines. I have the Texture app that gives me loads of magazines for about $10 a month. I read travel publications like Travel + Leisure, Sunset and even Southern Living to earmark where I want to go in the future. I love reading local magazines like South Sound Magazine and 425 Magazine for day trip ideas. Also, Pinterest caught on that I was traveling and sends me ideas via pins for Northwest, U.S. and international travel.

Bunny and I at our favorite cruise location, Labadee, Haiti, in February 2016.

As for where to stay and where to eat, we rely on TripAdvisor and Yelp reviews, in addition to what I've read in the travel mags. I like to look up menus before we try new restaurants to make sure there will be something Darling Husband will enjoy eating. Plus, it gives me an idea of price point and if we'll need to make a reservation.

How often to travel
Until this summer, I was traveling in some capacity every weekend. No joke - I was never home. If Darling Husband was pulling a shift at the fire station, I called up a friend to go with me, or I went alone.

How I kept my job with so much travel
Some travel, like my trip to Indianapolis, Indiana, was actually for work. I had about 80 hours of PTO in my 29th year and my goal was to use all of it. I hope to never leave PTO hours on the table as I did prior to this year. I thought travel was out of reach for us financially. With PTO and regional travel, I was wrong.

Ralphie and I on the beach at Kalaloch, Washington, in November 2015.

As a type A individual who struggles with perfectionism and saying no, (do you know someone like me?) the hardest day was asking my boss for 10 days to go on a Western Caribbean cruise and to Miami Beach in February 2016. I'll never forget, she said "that's a long time." I replied, "it is..." I had the PTO, I had planned perfectly to go during a slower time of the year at work. She let me go and I left my cell phone in Portland and fully disconnected for 10 days. BLISS.

Outcomes
After one year of traveling nearly every weekend, here is how my life has changed.

Better communication with my husband. He and I have been in crazy travel situations and many long car rides together this year. I have learned more about him, what makes him happy, the little cues that show he doesn't want to talk but is upset, and we are able to communicate with each other more effectively. And, the memories we have made this year mean more to me than any gift, home or material item I have ever owned.

Enjoying my sorbellini at Salon in the French Quarter in New Orleans in April 2016.

Reconnecting with old friends. Bunny and I cheered together in college. She LOVES to travel and is an awesome travel partner. Our friendship this year is just as strong as it was in college, after not seeing each other much for about seven years. I need her positive energy in my life. And, while Darling Husband is my great caretaker, Bunny pushes me to my edge and challenges me to step outside my comfort zone and live a little more. This has changed me for the better.

Travel helped me get through challenging weeks at work. At the end of the day, I would come home and cry into my wine glass over what happened that day. Knowing that I was going to Kalaloch with Darling Husband and Ralphie that weekend gave me something to look forward to.

I have a countdown app on my phone that would tell me how many days until the cruise, until New Orleans, etc. I see now I was using travel as escapism. I needed a way to escape my new city and my job. I needed to focus on something other than my situation and it worked for me. I was able to have a hard day, remember that 67 days from now I'll be somewhere fun, and picked myself back up.

The view from Amavi in Walla Walla, Washington in January 2016.

Self discovery. I was sitting in a gorgeous dress at fancy dinner on the cruise ship with Bunny one night and I couldn't stop stressing about how to handle work when I returned home. She looked me straight in the eyes and said "You know you are leaving your job. You just don't know when. When you know what that next move will be, you'll stop stressing."

One month later, I knew where I needed to go. Two months later, I took that new job. Five months later, I feel like my true self again. The time away from the daily grind gave me the space to explore my reality and use feedback from those I trust to change for the better.

This blog and insight into my career. Two months after I started traveling, I started this blog. I'm not writing this to become famous or make money. I needed to write more for my soul. Part of my communications work at the museum was tourism related, and I learned this year through traveling and the blog that I want to dive deeper. It led me to my new job at a statewide hospitality association and I love working in beautiful restaurants and hotels. Many days, it doesn't feel like work.

Sledding at Town Square in Leavenworth, Washington, in December 2015 - our third wedding anniversary.

To be quite honest, as soon as I left my old job and got a bit more settled in our new home, my need to escape has lessened. In turn, I feel my need to travel go from every weekend to one or two weekends a month.

I find myself in a new season. Darling Husband is at my family's lake house each weekend building us a teardrop trailer and that allows me to join him or stay home and take care of our home (that was a bit neglected when we were gone every weekend). This also gives me space to do a weekend girls trip with Bunny or the Junior League gals.

Travel is not going to end for me, but I'm not obsessively planning escapes every weekend. I have a few smaller trips and a few larger trips coming up in my 30th year that I'm very excited about. We have BIG travel plans for our five-year wedding anniversary in January 2018 that we are looking forward to.

I'll be sharing the details with you here after each trip. Thanks for joining me on this crazy ride in my 29th year.

Suncadia Lodge, November 2015

What to Eat + Do in Leavenworth, Wash. AND How to Survive the Crowds

Bring a sled for some free fun on the little hill in town center of Leavenworth.

I really loved that Darling Husband and I booked our second December trip to Leavenworth,Wash. After being novices the first year, we had much more insight into what we wanted to do and where we wanted to eat.

On Saturdays and Sundays during the holidays, tour buses bring THOUSANDS of cheerful Christmas lovers into the tiny town. Saturday is especially busy because of the Christmas Tree Lighting at 4:30 p.m. Streets are closed so there is enough room for everyone to walk. Store lines for the cash register wind throughout and the wait for lunch takes an hour or more. Bring your patience and these tips.

Friday is your new favorite day

Both years, Dane and I stayed in Leavenworth Friday-Sunday. In 2014, we tried to do lunch and shopping on Saturday. This was a mistake. This year, we knew that our high priority spots to visit and eat needed to be visited Friday night when there are FAR fewer people in town. Planning this way saved us a lot of wait time and stress in 2015.

Have a refuge

In 2014 the weather was clear and freezing. This year we had a damp, cold, rain-snow mix. The effect the rain-snow had was amazing. All of the thousands of people bussed in had nowhere to get out of the rain. They huddled under overhangs and spent mindless hours looking at Christmas ornaments to stay dry. Dane and I headed back to our room at the Bavarian Lodge to watch a Christmas movie or do puzzles. This was definitely an advantage.

Bring a sled

Wake up early in the morning and bring your sled to Town Square. I love sledding and getting there before all of the kids made me feel safe (I’m not one who wants to run over kids). The hill is small enough for wimps like me. And even when there was no snow in 2014, they trucked snow in for the sledding hill. FREE!

Make reservations, and do so early

Thankfully, I love dinner reservations and tend to make them rather than not. We enjoyed Italian dinner at Visconti’s in 2014 and at Watershed Café in 2015. The line for a table at Visconti’s that night was insane. I felt terrible for the hungry families that waited for hours. Watershed in 2015 said it only took dinner reservations at 6 and 8 p.m. It was far more mellow than Visconti’s, but not as family friendly. Definitely perfect for a romantic date. Visconti’s food was good, but they definitely hustled us out. Watershed had a great menu, but was pricey and only had one waitress for the entire dining room. She did her best, but service was very slow. $$$$

Don't miss the Priebe Porter and pretzel at Icicle Brewing Company.

BEST Friday night grub

No dinner reservation needed Friday evening. At 4 p.m., go to Icicle Brewing Company and order a pint of their Priebe Porter and a soft pretzel with real butter, salt and Beecher’s cheese. Then walk over to Munchen House and sit at a fire table while enjoying German sausage, chili and more beer, of course! $

Lunch - skip it

We had lunch at Bavarian Bistro & Bar in 2014 and at Andreas Keller Restaurant in 2015. Skip Bavarian Bistro & Bar. We waited an hour or more. Andreas Keller was timed perfectly – 11:30 a.m. – food was great (Schnitzel cordon bleu), but EXPENSIVE!!! Pack some sandwiches and eat in your room. Save your money for dinner. $$$-$$$$

Set a budget for Kris Kringl

My most favorite shop in Leavenworth is Kris Kringl. It has every Christmas ornament, decoration and trinket you never knew you needed! In 2014 I went a little crazy and we ended up buying three Snow Village houses, characters for those houses, and a Christmas ornament for everyone in my family. This year, Darling Husband and I took inventory of what we needed and purchased one Snow Village house and one character. Phew. $$-$$$$

Two glasses of joy and some wine tasting at IRW Uptown.

For when you’re feeling classy

My most favorite Saturday after-lunch refuge in 2015 was the Icicle Ridge Winery tasting room (called IRW Uptown). OMG. The décor – cushy white banquettes, huge antler chandeliers, white, black and gold everywhere AND good wine! Dane and I spent a couple of hours trying the wine flights (red for me, white for him) and followed that up with a glass of their sparkling JOY. We brought home the Christmas Cab, which was delicious. And their Riesling was the best I have ever tasted. $$$$

The most swanky tasting room I have ever been in. I'm in love!

For when you’re feeling brave

Head out of town five miles to the Lt. Michael Adams Tubing Hill. $18 will get you a pass to tube as much as you want down a death-defying, steep hill on tubes that they wax. Dane enjoyed himself. I was a wimp who enjoyed watching him almost toss his cookies. $

Watch your loved ones fly down an icy hill! They do let you try it for free once to see if you like it. I didn't even get that far. 

Verdict: The second December trip to Leavenworth was a success. We stood in line and waited far less than in 2014. We did not renew the second year because we feel like we’ve done it. On to somewhere new! But, I highly recommend a weekend trip for Christmas-loving couples. It’s very expensive, so set a budget, do as much on Friday as possible and enjoy!